February 14th has come ’round once more and we are forced to question our true feelings for this “holiday.” Many people seriously feel that this day is a great way to take the opportunity to shower their special someone with affection and gifts. It’s a celebration of love to these people. Oh how I admire their innocence.

I have noticed as I get older that more and more people generally agree with my sentiment that Valentine’s Day is basically an over-commercialized farce.  Yeah, yeah, one could argue that Christmas would also fall under that category..but I would have to disagree.  There are some harsh truths about Valentine’s Day that make this “holiday” completely silly.

Grown women squeal when they receive a teddy bear on this day and I am of the opinion that after the age of 16, you are too old to get excited over stuffed animals.  Crappy chocolate and heartless Hallmark cards are another silly gift.  Have you ever actually attempted to eat some of those chocolates?  YUCK!  Lastly, the red roses.  When I see a bouquet of red roses I think of funerals.  I’m not entirely sure why I get so macabre about it, but red roses are terribly cliche.  All of the above gifts are cliche….and cheap.  So what else do you get a lady?  Jewelry.

Guys, if you get your special lady a nice sparkly piece of jewelry, you KNOW that she’s going to do that one thing for you..you know…the one thing that she only does for you on your birthday…yeah.  Diamonds and gold basically put you in a position where your partner basically has to do that one special thing.  A nice dinner and a spa day?  Get ready for a great night.  But you know what?  Your lack of imagination is going to get stale after a while.  If your partner is desperately looking forward for Valentine’s Day so that you can show them how much you care, then you must be a really cruddy lover.  One or two days a year to make your lover feel special is just crappy.

I have a suggestion to save this day.  Let’s drop all of the corny stuff.  No longer shall we have to look at stores crammed with red and pink Valentine’s crap.  No more red roses and cheap chocolate.  No more stupid stuffed animals holding stuffed hearts.  No more sweating over if she wants the princess cut diamond or the marquis cut.  Let’s bring to light what this holiday is about under the surface.  Sex.

Take your lady to the lingerie shop and encourage her to model for you.  Sneak into the changing room for a feel and rub.  Go together, hand-in-hand, to a sex shop.  Pick out some toys to make sure that the night will be interesting.  Get an adult movie for some inspiration.  You might also want to go ahead and get that gallon jug of peach-flavored lube…it’s going to be a long night.

Do all of this together.  Giggle and enjoy each other.  Don’t be embarrassed.  The only reason to be embarrassed is if you were doing all of this to pleasure yourself alone in a dark room, but you’ve got a person there with you.  A person who is willing to experience this with you because they care for you and trust you.  If that doesn’t say love, then I don’t know what does.  It’s not a bunch of flowers, that’s for sure.

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