When I am in need of inspiration…or just bored, I love to read famous quotes of intelligent and articulate people. There’s a lot of insight to be taken from the intellect of some of these people, and quite a lot of laughs. I have compiled a list of famous quotes that involve love, sex, and relationships. Most of them were taken from this book, which I look through often. Please enjoy.

“Sex drive: A physical craving that begins in adolescence and ends at marriage.” -Robert Byrne

“Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.” -Unknown

“I’ve tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.” -Tallulah Bankhead (1903-1968)

“A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.” -Karl Kraus (1874-1936)

“Sex is nobody’s business except the three people involved.” -Unknown

“All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I’d sooner go to my dentist any day.” -Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966)

“Love is a grave mental disease.” -Plato (427?-348? B.C.)

“A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.” -Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

“Love will find a lay.” -Robert Byrne

“Marriage is not a word but a sentence.” -Unknown

“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.” -Mae West (1893-1980)

“If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.” -H.L. Mencken (1880-1956)

“A man is as young as the woman he feels.” -Variously Ascribed

“Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.” -Jim Backus (1913-1989)

“It can be great fun to have an affair with a bitch.” -Louis Auchincloss

“Masturbation! The amazing availability of it!” -James Joyce (1882-1941)

“Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin-it’s the triumphant twang of a bedspring.” -S.J. Perelman (1904-1979)

“Sex is dirty only when it’s done right.” -Woody Allen

“Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.” -Mae West (1893-1980)

“The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 1:00a.m.” -Charles Pierce

“It’s been so long since I made love I can’t even remember who gets tied up.” -Joan Rivers

“When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many for the inattention of one.” -Helen Rowland (1876-1950)

“Of all the beasts of land or sea, the wildest is woman.” -Menander (342?-291? B.C.)

“A woman talks to one man, looks at a second, and thinks of a third.” -Bhartrihari, c. 625

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