Love at Work

Once upon a time, in a far away land, a ridiculously cute redhead ventured into a zany adventure that would change her way of life. She had no way of knowing that this escapade would whisk her away for two years to a life of secrecy, insubordinate behavior, and a transfer to a new land, even further away.

Or in other words, I once dated a co-worker. Actually, I dated my boss, to be exact.

It all started when I was 21 years old. I had just been unceremoniously dumped by my boyfriend of 4 years, who, to be quite frank, I had always figured (in a way only a naïve 21 year old can) that we would get married one day and live happily ever after. Instead, he broke up with me on Christmas Eve so that he could date an unattractive older woman, and left me, alone and heartbroken, and totally susceptible to the charms of my 27 year old boss who was fairly cute, but lets face it, in retrospect, not really at all.

I had never really paid much attention to my boss. He was not nearly as cute as my boyfriend, and plus he was 6 years older than me and had an extremely hairy chest, a physical trait that has never grown on me. That said, in my depressed state, this 27 year old man with the furry chest, and all the attention he was paying me became more and more appealing.

Now, of course, our work had a strict policy about dating co-workers, especially if there was a conflict of interest involved, say, I don’t know, hypothetically, you wanted to date….. your boss. That was strictly not allowed. So, we did what any 21 year old and incredibly immature 27 year old in a position of authority would do—we hid it.

Hiding it was fairly easy to do while we were in the “honeymoon” stage. Let me tell you when it became hard: when we were in a fight.

Imagine getting up in the morning with your significant other. Having coffee and then heading off to work… together. Then imagine getting to the office, and working within 5 feet of each other all day long. When 5 o’clock comes, you leave the office… together. Then, you go home, make dinner, and eat… together. Then you gorge on ice cream and popcorn and watch The Biggest Loser on television…. together. The next day, you wash, rinse repeat. Let me tell you, it’s easy to get on each other’s nerves.

I will never forget one particular moment where I almost blew my cover.. We worked in a travel agency (I was a travel agent) and my IATAN card (a travel agent ID card that basically proves you are a travel agent, and allows you travel agent discounts) had been expired for several months. It was my boss’s job to renew it, and I had been bugging him… for months. But I guess it wasn’t high on his priority list because I was his girlfriend, and I guess he thought I wouldn’t turn him in for not doing his job.

Anyway, I was about to leave on a trip where I was to stay in a $250 per night hotel for $59 per night, but I needed my IATAN card to do so. He had promised, over everything, that my IATAN card would be there on time. The Friday before the trip came. No IATAN card. He said it was coming and would be there by 3pm. I called IATAN. “No Ma’am.” They said “Your IATAN membership is expired. We haven’t received payment or the renewal forms.”

Needless to say, I was pretty angry. I marched into my boss’s office, and slammed his door. I guess I was yelling, because when I looked through the window of his office, all of my co-workers were staring at us. When I was done, I came back out of the office, two of my middle aged co-workers, who were also tired of his procrastinating, gave me a mini-round of applause. Some of the others raised their eyebrows at me with a little smile though. I think they knew what was up. That was when I knew I probably needed to request a transfer to another office.

If you’re secretly dating a co-worker, another thing you can’t really do is hang out with other couples from work. This means you can’t invite them to your parties, or even out for drinks, because they will likely catch on. Vacations are another issue. I remember we thought we were so sly, because whenever we went on vacation together, he would take two days off before me so that people wouldn’t know we were going at the same time. Um, yeah… right. I’m sure we had them fooled.

Another downside: Watching other co-workers hit on your boyfriend, because nobody knows that the two of you are dating. Even better—when your middle aged co-workers try to set you up with their sons because none of them know you have a boyfriend—and dealing with them when you turn down their sons and they get, naturally, offended.

In the end, I did end up transferring to another office, which made me very unhappy. It was a much longer commute and I missed my old co-workers. When we broke up, I moved back to the office. There’s something even more awkward than dating your boss—having your ex-boyfriend as your boss. But I’m not even going to get into that.

Eventually, he was fired for, get this, using travelers checks to launder the company’s money, (yes, I know how to pick winners) and my life went back to normal.

In the end, the ridiculously cute redhead lived happily ever after, with a man who was not her boss. But in the end, she never forgot the lesson she learned—Never date your boss. And don’t date your co-workers either, if you work somewhere where it’s not allowed. It just isn’t worth the trouble.

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