I’m going to start this by saying that if someone makes you feel uncomfortable on a date, you should probably leave. On this particular date, I DID feel uncomfortable but I couldn’t feel threatened by an Oompa Loompa.

I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and wasn’t really into the dating scene, but when a guy I’ll call “Craig” asked me out as a friend, I really didn’t see the harm in any of it. I had been single for about three months and was sick of being at home by myself, so to hang out with someone sounded pretty good.

We planned on meeting that Friday evening and going out to a movie and getting something to eat. When Friday came, the plans had changed a bit without my knowing. “Craig” came over to my house to pick me up and when I first got into his car, he turned the stereo up REALLY loud…I guess to impress me with the system that he had in his Ford Focus. I swear by the time we got around the block my ears were ringing, and all the while he was trying to talk to me and all I could see were his lips moving. Whatever he was saying I was agreeing with, “Uh huh.” Sometimes I think that I am too nice and instead of trying to yell “TURN IT DOWN,” I started to look out of the window until he got the hint that I couldn’t hear a word that he was saying. He finally decided to turn it down to get my attention.

I guess that I had agreed to go to his friend’s house with him. I also had apparently agreed to, instead of going out to dinner and a movie, a rented movie and take-out dinner at his place. His friends were really nice and after about an hour or so there we left, got food and went back to his place. At this time I was thinking that I should have driven myself. I don’t like to put myself in situations that I can’t just leave when I want to.

We ate and talked and he seemed like a nice enough guy. We had some things in common, but I didn’t think that we really clicked. He kept going on about how tall I am and wondered exactly how tall. I told him that I am 5’9″ and he argued that I wasn’t 5’9″ because he was 5’9″ and I was a lot taller that he was. It’s true that I was a lot taller, but I am 5’9″ and he was probably 5’5″ but he swore that I was at least 6′ because he WAS 5’9″.

We still had to watch a movie since I had agreed to it earlier on when I was at risk of going deaf, so I started thinking that I only had two hours left until I could go home. Just sit, watch the movie, then ask for a ride home. Hurry up. I hoped it was a good movie so that the time would fly by. Here is where it started getting freaking weird.

“Craig” started the movie. We were about 20 minutes into watching “National Treasure” (yeah, I was screwed in the good movie department) and he tells me that he feels “so comfortable around me” like he’s “known me for a long time” and he took his shirt off. Okay, Okay. I know it was just his shirt. That part didn’t bother me. His gut that hung out bothered me, but it’s not that odd for a guy to take his shirt off so I didn’t freak out just yet. About 10 minutes later he was still gong on about how he felt like we got along so well, and I was looking at him as if his head was getting ready to explode, but I said things like,

“Yeah I agree we get along, but this is a first date and we should just watch the movie.”

I was trying really hard to be nice and not laugh in his face, but then he did something that I couldn’t help but laugh at, yet at the same time feel VERY uncomfortable. He got up and took his pants off. Yes, he took his pants off. It was freaking odd, but at least he was wearing underwear. The bad part was that they were bikini underwear! A big gut and bikini underwear are not the sexiest combination. Being covered in hair isn’t sexy either. He was furry and in bikini underwear. He looked like an Oompa Loompa, you know, from Willy Wonka.

He was still going on about how comfortable he was around me. Maybe he couldn’t tell by the look of shock on my face that I was very uncomfortable. He went down his hallway after stripping down and I was trying to think fast on how the hell to get out of there. All I could come up with was that I was sick. To my surprise, when he came back to the room and I told him this, he got dressed and took me home.

The ride home was full of him telling me that he wanted to go on another date and how cool I was and how laid back I was (probably because I didn’t talk a lot in fear that the underwear were going to be removed). When we pulled up in front of my house, he asked me out again. I didn’t say “no way in hell,” but instead opted for the nicer version and said that I just wasn’t ready to date yet. When my roommate got home, we had a good laugh about my eventful evening and how I know how to pick the good ones.

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