He had to be blond. He had to have blue eyes. He had to be tall and well-built. He had to have a dominant personality. It would have been a definite plus if he were a musician. Blue jeans had to hug his ass just right. These things are what a 16 year-old me would have said was my ideal man. As you can see, the criteria is embarrassingly shallow. I have an excuse though, I was 16! for you 21+ people out there with similar criteria mostly based on looks, what’s your excuse? Are you all really just gigantic narcissistic asses?

I really can’t understand dating 100% based on looks. I’m equally confused by people who want to be loved solely for their looks. What the hell? I just can’t wrap my head around that one.

I’m 25 years old. I’m not a dried up old hag. Some might even venture to say that I am still quite young. I’m at that age where I can be a complete asshole and look at a man and say “no way, he is NOT hot enough for me, ” or “oh he is so gorgeous, I would love to take him home tonight.” I can’t do that, though. Of course, I will look upon a lovely man the same as a person might appreciate anything beautiful. I don’t start rating them as dateable or hopeless. I would feel bad about doing that. Who the hell am I? What makes me so great that I could put another person under such scrutiny over something that, for the most part, they have no control over. Nobody is that great. Nobody. I’m serious. Get over yourselves.

---

---

What’s the sexiest quality in a man for me? Being funny and a great sense of humor. Looks are secondary and I’m not just saying that. I love people with lively personalities and a great sense of humor. A sense of humor is a big trait that I gravitate towards in my friendships as well. Has it ever occurred to some of you that the things that we find interesting in our friends might be something that is a huge attraction in our mates?

I understand that there must be physical attraction in a relationship. You must be attracted to your mate in order to get real enjoyment from the relationship and especially from sex. My annoyance is the people who judge at first glance. Unless you are a wealthy person on the hunt for an accessory (in which case, you’re basically buying your mate and who am I to tell you how you spend your money?), you have no right to turn a date away at the first moment based on their looks. Again, get over yourselves. You’re not that great, no matter what your mommy told you.

The point that I am clumsily making my way towards is that we all have a little asshole version of ourselves sitting on our left shoulder. A person with a background in psychology would call this your “Id”. We all have close relationships with our Id whether we like it or not. The sensible among us give our Id’s a much deserved swat when we realize that it is about to cause us to make jerks out of ourselves. But there are some who must think their Id is the voice of reason, their SUPER HAPPY FUN TIME BFF! Why else would people behave horribly and intentionally hurt a stranger so needlessly by dismissing them instantly because of their looks? Stop it, I say. Everybody deserves 5 minutes. Most guys I have known never spend less than 5 minutes in the bathroom, so consider it like a bathroom break. You’re short-changing yourself by limiting your options only to the beautiful. Your mate needs to be a friend as well as a lover because, unless you’ve got the Energizer Bunny in your pants, everybody needs a break for food and conversation and wouldn’t that be a great time for real compatibility based on personality? Ok, I sound like eHarmony, but I’m right. Age is a cruel thing and not everybody stays beautiful forever. Looks dim, but the personality quirks that entertain you daily keep things alive. Give it a try. Just assume for a moment that I know what I’m talking about and try it. You’ll like it.

No related posts.