You put a lot of thought into the outfit. You want to look your best. You mentally rehearse the situation so you look cool and prepared. You want your best qualities to shine and your weaknesses to take a back seat. You want to appear smart and interesting. It’s very important to you that this event goes well.

I’ve just described the way a person might feel before a job interview AND a first date. Both occasions call for a great first impression. We need to appear as the absolute best versions of ourselves because we’d like to have that follow-up, be it a second interview or a second date. It’s all business.

An experienced dater knows that on a first date, they are talking not to their date, but to their date’s representative. Because the whole dating scene has so much inventory, it is important to portray yourself as a valuable asset in the market. What do you have that makes you unique? What do you have to offer to this potential relationship?

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As with a job interview, it is in bad taste to praise yourself incessantly. Be confident without being arrogant. Be humble yet aware of your value and for God’s sake, SMILE! Don’t spend an hour talking about your cat and as far as this date is concerned for the time being, you have no ex’s. Don’t let her know that your mom picked out your outfit and don’t tell him that you want your whole house painted pink. Establish eye contact. Speak clearly and concisely. Act like you have an ounce of common sense.

Alas, we all slip. We all have a momentary brain fart where that first date is more comparable to a job interview at McDonald’s rather than at a large and respectable place of business. We drink too much, tell a sob story about how our ex threw our stuff in the yard and let their dog pee all over it and then give a foot job under the dinner table. Maybe you get drunk, puke all over the place, get pulled over for DUI, and then are forced to either call your date to come get you, or admit to people who actually know you that you are basically the dumbest person alive at that moment. It happens. Live past it and move on.

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