You Want to Show Me Your WHAT?!?
I guess you could have called it a first date…but only loosely. Truthfully, we were old friends toying with the idea of making our friendship more of a “relationship.” We’d been friends for about four years at that point and had almost always had a mild flirtation going on.
The plans were simple: eat dinner, hang out at his place and then go to a party. He took me back to the house he shared with his brother and his brother made us all dinner. He then invited me to hang out with him in his bedroom while we waited for the party’s host to come and get us. I assumed that things were going to get very interesting. I didn’t know how right I was. He flopped into the over-sized office chair crammed into his tiny bedroom along with the gigantic computer desk and said to me,
“You wanna see something awesome?”
I assumed he would show me a funny picture or video, but what confronted me on his computer screen was oh so much different.
“I have a whole database of porn!”
He was so proud of the fact that he has folders and folders…and more folders of pictures an short movies of the pornographic persuasion. I don’t shy away from such things normally, but he had so damned much of it that I was literally stunned. Disney characters, cartoon characters, naked movie stars, girls covered in bodily fluids, animals…it was crazy. He then started showing me all of the individual pictures one by one, him sitting in his over-sized office chair and me standing next to him glancing at the door.
“Haha! Look at this! Isn’t it awesome?”
“Look at how big her boobs are!”
“Isn’t that gross?!? It’s so AWESOME!”
I didn’t say much aside from the occasional “EW!” or *gasp*. Was there some perverted point to all of this? I honestly thought he brought me back to his room to get me naked, not to show me his porn collection! Luckily, after about ten minutes of the porn slide show, the host of the party we were to attend showed up. My date left me behind alone in his room so I could retrieve the jacket I had taken off when I first came in. I put my jacket back on while leaving his bedroom and the party’s host was staring at me like he thought that my date and I had just had a naked flop all over his water bed. I just lowered my eyes and kept my mouth shut but I wanted to say,
“Put a lid on it, man. He was just bragging about his porn. To him, pictures are better than the real thing.”
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