They Love You, But Not Your Partner

Alright, the dating game is over for now. You’ve got a good thing going with this person. You’re in love and you want to include this person in every aspect of your life. Hold on to your pants, baby. It’s time to introduce your love to your family.

What? You’re thinking there’s nothing to worry about? You’re thinking that there’s no way that your family is going to feel anything but admiration for this person? For your sake, and for the sake of your relationship, I hope you’re right. Nothing can sour a great relationship quicker than family disapproval. It’s smarter to err on the side of caution and assume your family just might act like a bunch of uncivilized asses and make the person you love feel like total trash. You don’t want that, do you? Then take my advice because I’m speaking from experience.

Before putting your partner into a potentially horrible position, make it clearly known to your family that this person means a lot to you and that they make you very happy. Perhaps your folks have good hearts and can see past whatever imaginary faults and see that you’re happy. However, assume the worst and be ready. Badly behaved family members are YOUR responsibility. Don’t make your partner feel that they have to put up with their crap or that you feel helpless to speak up. In a relationship, how your family treats your partner is more your business than your partner’s. Is your mom rude to her every time you bring her around? Does your dad talk down to your man? Do they bad talk your love to you behind their back? TAKE CARE OF IT.

There’s no need to make big embarrassing scenes. Make it a quiet and personal conversation between you and the folks. Let them know that you’re horrified that they are acting that way. Let them know that they have the option to be nice and see the two of you often, or they can be ignorant and rude and only see you sometimes. Let me put it to you this way, this relationship might lead to marriage. That marriage might lead to a very happy life for you. However, the fact that you never put your family in line will always be a problem and a sore spot in your happy marriage. Your partner will resent you for making them feel second-rate for never taking up for them. The love of your life will be stressed and out of their mind whenever your family comes to visit because of the fear of your family being rude and you not saying anything. The most important point? Odds are that your parents will die long before you. After they’re gone, you’re going to be stuck with someone who doesn’t fully trust you because in all the years they stood by you, you never once opened your mealy mouth to make your parents behave themselves.

What if the misbehaving family member is a sibling? Put it straight and tell them to suck it up or you’re going to go old school ass-kicker on them. Luckily, for most of us however, the siblings can be great allies in the war between love and parents. Look to your siblings for help and support. Odds are, they’ve been in the same position and will be glad to help you so that you won’t have to suffer.

If you’re one of those people who have never had a problem like this with your parents, then not only are you super lucky, but I hate you. Be watchful, still. You never know when someone you bring home just rubs them the wrong way and you will be forced to have a little chat with them about their behavior. You can’t make your family like everyone, but you can make them behave like they were raised in polite society. It’s completely unnecessary for your darling to suffer at the hands of people who love you.

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