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But…Your Profile Says You’re Hot

11 November 2008 890 views No Comment

Say it like it is

False advertising is never a good thing. When you lie about your looks on a dating site, false advertising is exactly what you’re doing. It’s not excusable and it’s not fair to the people that you meet.

I did a lot of dating on the internet after my divorce. I wasn’t a casual dater, I was a serious dater. That’s why, when I would meet a man who said he was athletic and handsome and he turned out to be portly, I would get mad. I hate the people do that! They post old pictures, glamor shots, or don’t include pictures but claim that they are gorgeous as a means to get people to meet them, but I don’t believe that they think past what might happen after they meet someone who they have lured into a date under the false assumption that they are something that they are not. People don’t like being tricked, so they get mad.

I always made sure to be honest in my online profiles because I was scared of getting insulted. I always made sure to tell my prospective dates (including my husband who I met online) that I am not a petite or thin woman. When you’re seriously looking for love, the last thing you want is a liar. When I would meet someone who lied about their looks, my very first thought upon meeting them was always,

“This guy is a freaking liar.”

Lying is not something that I consider a virtue, especially in my serious relationships. How am I to believe that a person who would lie about their looks would be an otherwise honest person? I can’t believe that.

My daughter, who is in her 20s, has a friend who is very active in the online dating scene. All of her profiles say that she loves the outdoors and that she is “curvy.” She once met a man and the very first words to come out of his mouth were,

“You really need to say on your profile that you are obese,” and then he left! I’ll admit that his actions were cruel, but I can’t blame him. If I were her, I would have been horrified and embarrassed. That’s exactly what I was trying to avoid when I made my profiles. I didn’t want a date to insult me and angrily leave the date before it even started simply because I led him to believe I am a tiny supermodel when I’m really not.

I talked to a man once who told me that he was once in contact with a woman who kept refusing to send him a photo. She assured him that she turned heads and that he wouldn’t regret meeting her. He was hesitant to meet her without a photo but finally agreed. He was to meet her in the food court at the mall. He sat way back in the back so that he could watch the entrance and not be seen. She told him exactly what she was going to be wearing and what her hair looked like. When she came in the door, he understood exactly why she turned heads. She must have weighed 400 lbs.! He ditched her and refused to message her online anymore. He was a very nice man and was not superficial. He just wasn’t into fat women. A lot of men LOVE fat women, though, which is why it confuses me that these women lie. Instead of attracting men that actually want them, they are attracting men that are looking for something completely different.

It’s not fair to put someone in a situation where they are expecting one thing but are confronted with something totally different. I don’t believe for a moment that making yourself sound nearly perfect when in reality you are not helps you get more dates online. The only thing that lying does is infuriate other online daters. at best you’ll be a one night stand and never contacted again. I hope that not many people aim for that outcome.